Another among the Millions !!

Wrapped up in a dusty brown leather over a white shirt & blue denims, 
Raging across the dry cold lanes of Kashmir on an Enfield. 
Giving a damn to the world and its moh-maya, Flying free as a bird over the hazy meadows !!
This was the dream, this was the hope I wanted to near, this was the moment I wanted to capture !!
Ofcourse, Life has always had different plans !!


"Not everything will fall in your plate in a day, everything that you earn here, has to be earned and more importantly deserved", those were the golden words that kept buzzing Vikram's mind. A self inspired individual whose dreams inspired many others in college days, whose dreams only kept getting bigger as the gates were nearing the close. Like others, the guy had no idea that it would be difficult to dream with all the cushion later.
Like any typical Indian parents, Vikram's too had given a lot of stress on securing a government job to ensure a laid back and stable life throughout. Being placed in an Indian IT MNC giant from an average engineering college had given Vikram a small leap. To him, the suited corporates looked bright and shiny. He wanted to be one of them, he wanted to be in that neat looking attire with the responsibility of changing destiny of a firm with his decisions. Like the thousands every year, Vikram joined the IT lane and became one of those many lost faces in the crowd. Everything seemed so perfect in the beginning, even things that he was scared of coping up with, were coming to him as if they were meant for him. This was the dream start he had hoped for, and he hoped the dream would continue for long enough. With the heavy and strenuous training, he only developed appetite for assignment which were provided in the form of project allocations in this world. Clearing a small contest for that, only boosted his confidence before he set into the actual world where he was supposed to be tested and evaluated.

The days were young, the energy was contagious but not so was the environment, and it was not long before it started impacting him. Although he earned some awesome friends in the process, but the highs had almost taken a break, and it was time to only pick the best amongst the lows. His patience was put to test, his dreams were put on hold, he did not know what to expect next, but all that kept him on was the hope that it was only a phase, and as per the phrase, "This too shall" have passed but it did not. The glamour of this fast moving industry had some sharp thorns and for now, all those thorns seemed to have had a taste of Vikram's fortune. It was amazing how the small things of life had started to matter so much.
A Perfect start was important, but if not, this time was only a built up to something perfect in future. Amidst all this happening on one front, he kept himself motivated enough to keep up the fight. His friends stood like pillars he could depend upon, poor fellows had to undergo through a lot of melodrama. His young heart too fell for some hearts around which did not last long enough to yield any results.
" Where am I headed to ? Will I conquer my dreams ? Why was I the only one with all the trouble ?", the questions never stopped.
Time had started to respond, and there was a strong sense of belief that it will change, and will change for good. Thankfully, it did for some time, but as always it could not go on for long. It seemed almost as if everything he tried hard to pull in a positive direction, had to somehow end up in the wrong one. You cannot bet on time, as it never remains the same. The guy who had the capability of inspiring others with his sharp crisp dreams, was not even able to smile with his lips spread wide. There was a difference, a difference which had been clearly created by time.
Heart broken, dreams half shattered, but still the courage to walk up to the same road every weekday and sit infront of a machine which had no answers to emotions but only alerts for deadlines. Where was I ? A rented machine, who could think, design logics and programs for clients of my company who employed more than 60% of my country's literate population only because people in their countries were too lazy to churn their dreams. It seemed more that I was slaved for my own needs, than for my dreams. My mind had scares of my appraisals, my future and it seemed unfair.
My dreams were big, they were wide and deep. They kept me near the shore of happiness, they made me believe it was never a pursuit but only a state.
Today, is a different day, Today is more about going in a direction about which I have no idea where am I headed to, its more about closing my eyes and do what I have been told to. It burns my soul, it intrigues me, it questions me - When do you pull out the plug ?
I looked around me, I saw the same faces, and many who had accepted this to be their fate. I feared being one of them, but today, probably I am also one among them.

The One, who spends his/her share of happiness from Friday night to Sunday evening.
The One, who plans and cancels their personal plans coz of work.
The One, who fails to wish his/her best friends and relatives on their important days.
The One, who has almost vanished from society.
The One, who reaches up people only in times of need.
I am the One, just an another One among the crowd of millions !!
I am the One, who gains happiness when I travel out of my own country and lives alone abroad.

Vikram is not just one, there is a Vikram in all of us, each one of us goes through a Vikram phase in life, but probably the hope is to carry on !!
Life can pull you down for a while, but you can certainly pull it back if you believe you can !!

"The Dream of streaming through the Kashmiri valleys is still a hope,
The Clock might have slowed down the pace,
but the dream is still open wide.....
for the Clock has not stopped !!"

Then, Now & Thereafter !!

Then

"Who's had those stale parathas again ?" announced Radio, and we burst into laughter in a room where someone had just farted.

"Man, I'll miss you guys" was the mutual statement we all shared.

Tears, half curved smiles, expressionless faces, filled up the whole arena of the final year hostel. Damn, Four years of life passed as fuel smoked out at the shores. I walked back to my room, wrapped my camera to put it back and I got lost.

29th August'11....

Four Years Back on the same lane......

"Alarm clocks to wake up ?" who needed them, this was supposed to be the first day in an engineering college, "Engineering" to be precise of whose dreams were filled like mashed potatoes in parathas, here we were, joining together for a journey which was supposed to be of professional education , supposed to end on a happy ending four years down the line.

"Hey, I am XYZ, OJEE rank 00000" were the first line of geeky introducers.

"Hi, I am XYZ from PQR state" were the first line of normal introducers.

"Arey yaar, Hello. So pure taiyaar ? " were the first line of the ultramost normal introducers.

We laid onto our uniforms, a typical blue blazer, and looked into the mirrors.

"Not bad for an Engineer !!" thought of the day.

Walking in groups, and standing tall for the buses to arrive, while few were still stuck finding it hard on the ties. Life had moved on, for bigger & better things. 

One Year down the line, things had changed, People were now pointed pointers. There were 9 pointers, 8 pointers, the evergreen 7 pointers and the coolest of all, 6 & below pointers, coz that was the standard by which we lived now. Fun was maximum at 6 and minimum at 9.

While some had started taking the smoke in, some had developed the taste for sour grapes , and some had just started to accompany them. There were perceptions, relationships and the ever happening weather changes of being a girlfriend - boyfriend thing, That had hooted in like the most super happening thing !!

It happened through the second, the third and arrived the fourth. By now, these 800 odd about to be Engineers of the future, were less of it than they were a family now. From bunking classes together, to standing for the whole year's prestige and the umpteen Cricket / Football matches on the fields, not just the friendlies, but along many friendly fires and white flags in friendly wars, we did not realised, that we shared was not just friendship , but a hardcore relationship.

Arrived days , when we got selected to be paid off after college, but the days were passing by too.

They started in months, lessened to days, and soon to one day, when the whole lot appeared for the last paper of their graduation and broke their nibs on the last sheets.

"Papa Kehte hai beta naam karega", probably kiya !!

The Shiver stuck me, and here I was back to the present.

"Move on, Idhar hi rahega kya ? " here was Ching again, so eager to get back home.

"I wish I could", was all I could whisper to myself.

The Bonds had to split , the tears had to come rolling out, and the promises of "We'll meet again" were again here. We felt bad when our seniors said that, today we felt how bad it really felt.

Now

In a house, where my windows are always open as used to be the doors in hostels. The Air keeps coming in, with the heat of Chennai and the cool breeze of it in the evening.

I wish , they were friends, who popped in every hour of the day. Friends, who had to be sometimes said, "Abe ja, thoda padh bhi le " , "Abe kitna hawa dega saale ".

Miles away from each other, miles from our homes, miles from our wickets and bats, miles from the drumsticks and guitars, but stand tall our memories of the land we cruised through fun.

A Trip planned to meet in December, who knows how much of it may come true.

We've started rocking on the rocking chairs, planning our future, cutting out on our expenses, thinking of the best gifts for our parents, relatives, girlfriend etc etc....

Thereafter

Dreams , which never end. Dreams of delivering speeches in the boardroom, to standup tall as an icon in the family, a BMW at a cozy villa, an Ultimate figured partner and a highly aspired salary.

Strange is life, stranger than fiction, harder in the eyes of reality.

Probably true, "Tum kya lekar aye the, Kya lekar jaoge"

Dream today, ahead and everafter, for the memories which I hold, I have many in those pages, where I flip any moment, I flip a dream.

From racing into the IPL Listing, to designing the fastest machine, to the best antivirus, to the best actor/actress, to the national dance competitions, I've it all in those pages.

Few've started, Few are somewhere around, and those in queue, will boom later !!

Out of emotions or just some quick fingers on the keyboard, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. , This is for You !!

Dreams & Aspirations - Typically Indian !!

In the land where the Legends wrote history and the history made them the rulers of the golden pages of the present, India has been a land where people made it through nothing to everything. Ambani, a merely known surname when born to a nothing to do family , has the world on his feet today. Anil Aggarwal, another such personality who had to bite the dust and cross over the limits to passby the shores where nothing awaited him except success. Not just these "A" lettered people, but many who wrote the script of their lives on their own will and mantras. Life, never had a full stop for them and what it always had were commas, which kept getting added to their achievements, figures and the never ending following.
Today, I stand by those achievements and I too typically feel, passion is what must have rode them through this journey, for life is never a smooth x=y plot on a graph, its always something which has had spikes prefixed by nature and postfixed by human. I stand by reading these achievements and these names piffled out by my friends.   The same urge and the same desires that a youngster typically dreams about in each corner of this nation, our nation is one where we breathe dreams. Not me, not just my platoon of college, but the whole 60% youth population of India who are the high tides on the walls of the world's future. Few choose, fight and falter, while few script, fight and alter.
                           Meant to change and meant to bring the pieces together, not just me , a just earning IT guy in Chennai believes that there are enough reasons to dream and achieve, but the whole setup, inspires you to become an aspirant of what may become the reason to live your life for this nation. Craziness to achieve, the desires to back plan after plan , and the will to go nuts about anything and everything. Life won't stop and it should never, but the dreams shouldn't either, for you are the reason it exists !!

Not everyone is lucky to make the numbers count for real,

Few who believe that these are not just numbers which got discovered,

But figures which made the whole world go round & around,

So why not you today,

That the future blooms and You're the one found !!

In Love, For time or Forever ?

Flipping the pages of an old diary where I wrote thousands of words for my first one sided love, and now over to flipping the memories of those countless moments where life’s struck me, if she’s the one, life’s demanded so much out of me.  For a time resided, where life was all about being brought up, gain knowledge till graduation & enter the world of being an employee. Now is a time, where it has gone so choosy, people want to live it the way they like, take challenges to the shores of extreme, and choose what they really want to be & have in life.

Taking over from the philosophical aspects of what everyone has lived through & experienced, walking down the lanes of the Y-Gen streets have been something worthy to live around. A platform of experiments from which everyone has picked up their own choices and left down some for others to choose, the setup has been a praiseworthy. Not long back in history, when SRK was the only man alive on earth who knew how to tickle the laughter of romance, & today down in the 21^st century of time, it’s a time when every teen is a Romeo / Juliet by themselves.

Time travels, and who on earth says it stays, but If I look on these streets of present where being in Love is more like a stock investment which fluctuates truly better than the real stocks do in the market, I think if this is really it. If this is all we started for, if this is all we live today for, where Love is more like a nail which around the magnet. For I do not hold any privileged decree to approve, but sometimes its disappointing when I have to end up saying a friend in relationship , “ Are you in this seriously or is just a breeze?”

For all the life that’s left with you to breathe in, be a sport in life for the things you need to , and for things when it matters you for love, success & dreams, never just let it go scribbled on the rough sheets of your canvassed life as people back in time had not much to do with, but had plenty to live with.

“ If you loved being with it for once,

And wanted it forever,

Better burn your fuel,

For the love may not last forever”

Fresh on the shores of being independent, and true on the passion of being dependent,
Life is up here again in search of the reality than falling over for mirages.

A Slow yet steady change - Rise of Bihar

It was August 2007, when I had to leave Patna for my engineering from Gandhi Institute of Engineering & Technology,Orissa. The years passed by, I heard quite good things about the state and the good things kept increasing down the years. Though I always used to come back during my vacations, but I hardly used to get any chance to observe the changes. Today when I used to get any chance to observe the changes. Today when I have completed my engineering, & resting myself in the break I have before joining an organization, I see things have changed for good around me. The People, the core of any developing process, are now much aware of things happening around and are much open to accept new things which they feel is acceptable and not above the line. Though a section of society has always been there which has not accepted the changes, but with the impact of time, they have not been a barrier. The State Government has marched ahead implementing new plans, working on social welfare, has given due importance to commercial development & the future looks appreciable. Due credits to the Chief Minister, who has worked keeping a target in mind on the long run, as thing around were not in a position to take a U-turn overnight. The process has been a bit slow, coz it needed to be corrected from the roots but has ensured to be a steady one. The future of Bihar certainly seems bright as I walk through these lanes of 2011.

Hours that changed a life

"Walkin away from the shadows,

of my own,

i see things happening now,

in everyway wrong,

they seem all useless,

and people all morons,

coz i've just seen the reality,

 and the happiness seems all gone...

It seems as if,

i was wrong to dream,

and it feels now,

i just want to scream,

the does not even come up,

as easily it used to be,

and i feel now,

i v lost something won, 

i do not see any way out of dis,

i just do not know how to make it,

its gone so different with thes few hours moved on .."

Going Across the Limits where the world says "ITS OVER"

 They say its over if you say NO, and its all back alive, if you really want it to be so.True to the utmost level,things in our lives are just a creation of our perception about them.The way we think about things, the way we look after them & of course, the way we react to them.Its the stimuli that really matters, perhaps its not something which is always predictable.There are moments when we realize our real potential and straightaway lash onto them.Its something which is a typical response of a being.Of course,its none but HUMANS.We lash onto things which we find beneficial for us, we run away from things which are of no use.This is something to which everyone has to accede.Everytime things around get messy, they seem grotesque & take hell of a stride into our lives & make it even more miserable.There are instances at the same time where we think its over, we cannot give it anymore & so, we just step behind without even judging for once if it is really so.Things for sure do not change overnight, but its the efforts and the dedication towards anything,a person really wants to achieve.It is all the same as the famous quote says that "Rome was not built in a day" & that's the bare truth.We cannot achieve anything in just a wink, it takes in something to give out something that really matters.Things have changed in this world, people have become smarter.They know exactly what to do and how to do even before it matters.They have many permutations and combinations to make it to their dreams but just a few of them make it through, some of them give it up half way while some give it up saying it was just a try,to make it across their dreams.They try acting complaisant about their faults but why,does it really matters to people around.What really matters is what you do with your own life, screw it up or just tighten it from everyside & make sure that there's no seepage through it & all the sediments are there when you open it up a day.There are perhaps many stalwarts who have done it in the past & there are still many more on the cards who will make it someday.They don't like being noticed,they do not want people's ovation coz to them, what matters is just their complacency.
            There's no words like "IMPOSSIBLE" in the dictionary of achievers coz they make them possible everytime.There's nothing flimsy in their dreams, there's nothing hollow in what they achieve & that's the reason only why, they make it to the other end of the horizon.And as far as things which we see happening around in this world, it is quite gray.The atrocities in this world have become worse.Now, even they exist in myriad shades but its the ones who really perceive it well & make it to the other side where happiness,joy & manifold of theirs exist.And to me, its only them who make the world a place to live and breathe with a will to feel that "AAL iz WELL ".I ll like to conclude my thoughts with just a quote of my own.              

              "Look into the mirror & see what it reflects,

                Sneak into your heart & find what it beats for,

                 Stare at the night sky & challenge the stars,

                Challenge them that you'll be one of them on the earth,

                And, you ll be the one,

                Who makes it to the other side of the horizon, 

                The horizon which has been left unconquered,

             And everything will be yours,

           Your Life,Your Love & Your Dreams" 

Freaky Engineer

Since the moment,

i saw that sheet,

my eyes have gone red,

and gone is all that sleep...

Everyone around,

has got so busy,

yet i am the one,

running from being so freezy...

All of them,

seem so nerdy around,

i hate them all,

what's so nasty in here,

has the earth gone round...

Even the girls are gone,

mugging their notes,

am i fool,

still copying those wrotes...

I still wakeup late,

when there's everyone awake,

they all just stare,

& have a smile shared,

they still think the same,

stinks so cheap,

"Am gonna beat you,

 & take a big leap"...

I still not understand,

why do i wander,

the dates are so close,

and still i ponder...

Here comes the day,

the clock's running near,

i jump off the bed,

with a little fear...

Arrive those hours,

when schmucks overpower,

yet am the one,

busy taking a shower...

I enter the hall,

so neat & clean,

the questions seem so blurry,

that even my pen refuses to hurry...

I come out of the hall,

hiding all my tears,

those schmucks query me again,

"are you gonna clear"...

I look upto the heaven,

& murmur a little prayer,

"Not this time again,

i'll give my best next time,

& won't let you complain oh dear"...

All those dates,

somehow passed by,

they gave me some pain,

& a few tears...

The days yet again,

seem so nice & clear,

the stage is all set,

with all friends back & again near...

Moments just pass,

giving everytime a smile,

the girls seem so sexy,

after a long while...

The papers are checked,

the results are near,

there are a few worries,

still no fear...

Down comes the day,

i again didn't cleared,

i flush out my mind,

in thick heavy tears...

Everyone around,

pats my back,

& out comes the same line,

i've been listening for years,

"No worries pal,

 next time around,

 you'll sure clear"......

My love-Its just my life ( just a rap )

Hey Guys n Gals,
b4 u read this,i wanna tell you.this is a rap,so better read it so but its a very touchy rap that just came out of nowhere for me. A line was enough to proceed further...

My love-Its just my life

I just don’t know,
what r u talking abt,
neither do i care,
what it is abt.
i havnt come here,
to take this shit along.
its just my life,
that am carryin along..

doesnt even matter,
who's listenin dis song.
its just for you baby,
that i stood even against the wrong,
i havent even cared,
what am i about,
i just want you here,
to listen me loud,
even thru da shadows of my own,
i ran away,
just for you and dreams of own..
its just my life,
that am carrying along..

why dont you care,
i still love you alot,
that rainy evening,
and dose rainy drops,
dose were the moments,
i still standby..
i just cant think,
y rnt u nearby,
am i still less,
than what you expected to be,
doesnt this matters,
that i walk alone..
its just my life,
that am carrying along..

am walking thru the dark,
these days alone,
but still i expect,
you would come and hold me on,
i just cant see you,
crying like this,
walk by my side,
i ll gift you a kiss,
wont let your tears,
to fall even once,
y cant u come,
leaving ur fears alone,
am still the same,
& love you even more than d days gone,
its just my life,
that am carrying along...

dont know how much,
i would link this to you,
just a little wish,
that i have in ma heart for you,
close your eyes,
and think abt me once,
am i still not in the frame,
where we two are the same,
lots of innocence and the pain,
but its the truth,
we have to face alone,
i wont leave your hands,
whatever may stand,
i wont let you ever,
face your fears,
i ll stand against them,
even if they take my tears,
i just want you,
to be with me,
i love you still the same,
even though,
i have faced the pain,
that's y i expect,
you would come along,
and hold me on,
and hold me on....